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A New Governess

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Today's offering has very little to do with the story arc of the new book, but it might well form part of the basis of the cover design, with certain adaptations to reflect the story.  This is an amalgam of several elements, including no less than three layers, taken from two separate sources, just to build up the woman's cleavage.  And of course the can you will have seen before - it is something I created long ago.  Many thanks to all those who have made a donation thus far to help fund the new work, by the way!

A Provisional Cover

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So...  I couldn't get my head around writing much today - too little sleep; the storm last night woke me up and then I couldn't get back off.  But I did have had enough residual get-up-and-go to have completed a quick and easy item for Roger Benson (just adding a 'think' bubble to one of his sketches - though I had to do a little work on the bubble itself first).  And having booted up my photoshop-style software package I felt sufficiently inspired to have a go at some sort of first-draft book cover.  See what you think?  I'd value your opinion.  It's not even the correct aspect ratio at the moment, so it has a long way to go yet.  I'm thinking at the moment that the lower paragraph ('Money was not sufficient...') may be unnecessary, and may even lessen the impact.  Any opinions / ideas?

A Hostage of Discipline?

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I spotted this photo someplace and couldn't resist it - or rather I couldn't resist playing about with it.

This could so easily be a scene from the new book, but I’m saying no more than that, for now!

Amelia: A Girl Transported Back in Time: Victorian Schoolroom Discipline in the Twenty-First Century

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Outside, the London traffic thundered, horns honked, taxis bobbed and weaved, police sirens wailed and screeched past and buses waited impatiently for passengers to board at their stops.  Inside, it was 1889 from dawn to dusk, night and day, right down to the typically severe Victorian schoolroom discipline.  It was a world in microcosm in which Victoria was on the throne,  corporal punishment was the norm, authority was unquestionable and a girl like this, even one of marriageable age, could - and would - be returned to childhood: and if you were to as much as show the young honourable Amelia Fotheringale-Sloane, heiress to the famed Fotheringale-Sloane estate, a mobile phone she'd turn her pretty head away in terror.

Nothing to do with the NEW book, but inspired by a sequel to one of my earlier works (one of the INSTITUTIONALISED series - some of you may remember it) which never got much further than a hint at the end of a story and a few words on my hard drive - oh well!  Something about this image just brought my mind back to it - I'm not entirely sure what, but that's often the way.  The cane resting on the desk is of course something I created and later added; you have to imagine the metronome is positioned somehere close to the viewer's position.

By the way:  I'm still hard at work on the new book, even though also still working with the artist, Roger Benson, and working on a book on Mad Cows Disease / CJD and other protein conformation disorders in the background.  

I'm also very soon going to reinstate direct, non-moderated, commenting on this blog, since it has been some while since there has been any attempt to post spam - perhaps as early as this very afternoon.  So there will no longer be that annoying delay between you writing in and you seeing your lovingly composed comment up in lights...  Nice, eh!

A Blog Update

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I have today had reason to remove two blogs from the blog listing over in the right hand sidebar, which is a real shame as I always intended this blog to be a hub of spanking resources rather than just being something limited to being centred around my books and the stuff which inspired them. The two blogs concerned either linked straight to - or contained a link to - 'amateurteensnude.com'. 

If this is how the folk at 'amateurteensnude.com' go about conducting their business - by hijacking innocent people’s blogs, websites and browsers - I would urge all to boycott their site and product and pass on the word where appropriate; it is why God gave us Twitter, Facebook et al.

One of these - SPANKED OVER PANTIES - I have been able to reinstate although it does state that the blog concerned has moved.  I have contacted the owner for clarification.


Developing Enema Dependency as a Route to Establishing a Disciplinary Environment

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This is something I wrote last week for my Tumblr blog to go with this charming pic I found and has nothing at all with the plot of the new book (I am STILL struggling with the opening paragraphs – proving SO difficult!).  As you’ll probably know, I have used the idea of induced dependency to gain control over another individual in one of my books - Alice Under Disciplne, Book 1 - and elsewhere, but never by this route!  But it is a nice idea - and would work.

“Why the enema, Mrs Fotheringale-Sloane?  Because your stepdaughter’s learnt to submit to the enema, happy with the notion that it can do her no harm, whereas she refuses to take any form of medication offered her and is deeply suspicious of any foodstuffs or drink that taste or smell in the least bit ‘odd’ to her.  But you know, the alimentary canal can absorb some substances equally well when introduced from either end.  So what I am doing here is introducing a mild – at the dosage she is presently receiving – but deliciously habit-forming sedative to the mixture of soap solution, bowel irritant and muscle relaxant we’re using. 

You’ll have to stay out of sight of course, but I think you’ll notice the change in her already, when the nurse brings her in; more amenable, less argumentative, almost KEEN to receive her enema, though of course she wouldn’t admit it.  You see, each time she leaves this room she is left feeling calm, relaxed and infused with a pleasantly complacent fuzzy woolly-headedness – until the drugs wear off and the jitters begin.  And then she is whisked back in for another treatment.  And of course over time it takes a little more to ease her nerves, leaving her feeling a little more euphoric, a little more woolly-minded, a little less able to concentrate each session – which in turn, given time, will leave her easier to handle. 

She hasn’t become aware of any of this of course, the dosage has been incremented far too gradually for her to have noticed – and as her faculties become more and more compromis
ed, so it will become possible to move her on to stronger medication, and without the slightest hint of objection. 
The stuff I have her on at the moment is merely habit-forming from the psychological perspective, although we have gone to some lengths to maximize that dependency by helping her to associate the relief from anxiety she receives with the ritual of receiving her enema.  But the sedative I want to EVENTUALLY lead her on to in this way has a reputation of leading to a deep-seated physical dependency in habitual users – in short; she’ll become fixated on receiving her enema and all the ritual that surrounds it. 

Do you know, only yesterday she actually asked her nurse when her next enema would be, how long she’d have to wait?  Apparently she was ringing her hands and pacing up and down so much that eventually her pyjama bottoms fell down around her ankles, tripping her over – hah, hah, hah, hah!  Can you imagine?  How funny! 

Oh didn’t I say?  Yes we’ve got her in those hospital-issue pyjamas now – we simply refused to continue with her enema treatments unless she complied with hospital regulations and handed over all her outdoor clothes, every last stitch.  It was a good few weeks back now. Psychologically it would have been a very poignant moment for her; breaking with her old life and embracing the new; the moment she began to become a real patient. 

In fact we gave her the standard hospital haircut yesterday – we want her looking as much like all the other patients as possible.  She kicked up a fuss, but I took my cane to her bottom – six strokes soon quieted her down.  Oh yes, she’ll bend, touch her toes, for the cane now if I tell her.  The point is: the more she looks like the other patients physically, in her own eyes, the easier she will find it to begin to identify with them psychologically  - and the harder she is going to find it to hang on to her old identity…  I can promise that as  more time passes you’ll find the Amelia of old fading away before your eyes like an old snapshot in the sun…”                 

There Are More Ways Than One to Keep Her Under Lock and Key

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I just love pictures like this!  Images that inspire and stimulate the imagination, often through their sheer simplicity.  Take this photograph for instance, at first sight nothing much going on, just a girl standing in a rather ill-fitting uniform dress.  But look deeper, take another look.  Just one glance at the girl’s eyes and a whole scenario suggests itself, opens up.  I found this on Tumblr and added it to my Tumblr blog last week – a welcome break from struggling with my new book (which this scenario has absolutly nothing at all to do with, incidentally).

“…That’s it… Good girl!  Look deep, deep, deep in to the pattern, mind emptying like a doll, just like a dolly, a plastic plaything waiting to be told what to do next, frightened to be out of its box…  Shall we put you back in your box where you’ll feel all safe and sound and secure?  Yes?  Then let’s get you back to your room, all safely locked away…  Come along, my Little Dolly School Child…  Yes, I think we’ll call you that from now on…”

“Yes, miss…”

‘Little Dolly School Child’ – How she hated the title the woman had just dubbed her, or how she WOULD hate it, once she came to be aware of it, consciously that is!  The school uniform summer dress she had been crammed into – and crammed WAS the operative word, it seemed at least a size too small, perhaps smaller – had been the last straw, at her age.  It looked – and made her feel – ridiculous and she hated herself for kowtowing to her governess’s wishes in letting herself be squeezed into it. 

But there was so much more to it, to her life, now, so MANY other indignities she had ended up submitting to since that woman had come to stay – a lock on her door, not being allowed downstairs, having a new room set aside for her high under the eaves decorated like a child’s room, a bed which looked more like an adult-sized crib, that rule about being ‘seen and not heard’.  This was only the latest manifestation of that woman’s domination – Somehow she just didn’t seem able to stand up to her.  But making her wear a child’s school dress was going a step too far.  They’d underestimated her; she was going to make a break for it, run away; all she needed to do was find some other clothes to change into first… Well such had been the plan at least…  But…

She’d made it to the drawing room – and become frozen in space as if her brain had just iced over. A spinning, shimmering, eye-catching mobile had been mounted in the doorway, just above head height – another hung in front of the window.  Both were identical to the one which hung above her bed and at which she had spent countless hours gazing, slack-jawed and glassy eyed while the ‘relaxation tape’ her governess had introduced droned on and on and on in soft lilting feminine tones about… About what?  She could never quite remember.  Where they had been installed she was bound to catch sight of one or the other of them – and when she did… 

She was utterly captivated, rooted to the spot, had been unable to move for over half an hour, totally under the control of an entire set of deep-seated post-hypnotic commands.  She was very much aware of the bars on her room’s window, she was totally unaware of the bars which had been erected around her mind, ring-fencing her personality in within her own body, didn’t even comprehend such a thing as being possible. 

The shimmering concentric series of hollow two-dimensional spinning stars, each mounted within a larger one and spinning independently from it, would seem hypnotic to anyone one.  But when that individual has been trained month after will-sapping month, the object set up as a hypnotic trigger, obedience to it deeply and patiently ingrained – well, as a security measure it was better than the strongest lock.  She hadn’t even been aware of her governess entering, of her governess layering trigger phrase on trigger phrase, deepening her trance, reinforcing the effect such that in future she wouldn’t even be able to get THIS far unaccompanied…  It was why she’d ‘accidentally’ left the girl’s door unlocked in the first place.

It's Not That She's Cruel – She's Just Forgetful. Hey, Anyone Can Have an Off-Day!

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Yes, unlike the last posting this one WAS inspired by a certain section of the plot of my new book, as much as it was by the expression on the woman's face. In particular the angle of her eyes is such as to make the addition of a 'think' bubble irresistible.

By the way, one thing I neglected to say last time was that I am also about to start work on what will be - to all intents and purposes - a biography of sorts, but one primarily focussing on my experience of living with dyslexia.

I have often thought of doing something like this over the years - usually when some humorous dyslexia-related anecdote or other has come to mind - and have always imagined it as a kind of after-the-event diary. And thus the provisional title I have come up with:

Dairy of a Dyslexic. From Udder-achiever to...

(Yep! That's right! I really CAN'T tell the difference between a journal and a bottle of 'Gold Top')

Blinkered Justice?

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Ever since I read about opaque contact lenses I have had a sneaking interest in such methods of developing dependency and thus control.  And then I came across this image, albeit with a different (although related) caption, and my imagination became instantly fired up.  Nothing much to do with the plot of the new book, but don't fret; work is still progressing well on that front.  

I may well add more to this posting as the day progresses.  It all depends on where I go, if I take my notebook computer and whether any new ideas pop up in my head.  There are all sorts of stuff bubbling under in my head inspired by this picture, but at present I don't seem able to formulate these ideas in terms of the written word.

Of Torments and Quandaries

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The ‘Non Victorian Chick' girl wrote to me recently (don’t’ worry: I have her permission to use her quote) regarding the posting, ‘Blinkered Justice?,  (Thursday 23rdOctober).  A most insightful commentary, I think she really has her finger on the pulse when she writes:

“The thing about the picture that strikes me is that the girl is indistinct and fuzzy, the bars are clear and concrete, as are her hands grasping at the bars.

To me it seems a bit symbolic. The girl is becoming indistinct. She's fading a bit, becoming less and less herself. The bars are clear, and concrete. The prison she is trapped in is slowly causing her to fade, and become less and less herself as time goes on. Her hands grasping at the bars are clear as well. So if the girl herself is fading out, her desperation is mounting.  She is trapped, caged, confined, and there is no way out. And as her former identity slowly fades and becomes less distinct, her animal desperation is mounting, as she realises that in time, she will eventually become – unrecognisable.

In a concrete sense, the picture could suggest prolonged sensory deprivation. Her vision could be affected by contacts/frosted goggles/a blindfold worn for long periods of time. Her hearing could be affected by white noise/dripping faucet/ears plugged for long periods of time.  Eventually, she might have laser surgery - after she has lost the ability to read and write.  She could discover - when asked to write out another biography or confession - that she no longer knows how to read and write. She might discover, when told to count the strokes of the cane out loud, that she can no longer remember how to count. 

The Non Victorian Chick”

This got me to thinking (which is one reason I always encourage correspondence).  Years ago in one of my previous incarnations as an electronics engineer I would on occasion be exposed for a longish period to a 800Hz or 1KHz test tone - not especially loud - a very pure sine wave.  Now, the weird thing was, after I turned it off, for a short-ish period afterwards it seemed or felt as if something was missing from the background sounds around me, as if there was a "notch' in my hearing range exactly tuned to the test tone pitch.  This was a very, odd, weird and disconcerting effect.  I was just wondering what effect it would have on the subject of have a constant pure tone pumped into her cell or room in which she has been confined rather than good ol' white noise.  

Going back to the ‘forgetful nurse’, (see the posting of Saturday 18th October) I always liked the dripping tap thing simply because it can be made to seem as if unintentional and yet, given a dead quiet room – and especially if used in conjunction with the subject confined to a straitjacket - it can make for a delightful torture.  This is especially the case if the subject is forbidden to speak unless spoken to first for fear of receiving a damn good caning otherwise while of course being desperate to remind her carer to turn off the handbasin tap tightly before leaving.

In a similar vein; within the story arc of the present thing I am working on - in one of the later sections - the heroine finds herself confined to a room wherein the lighting continually goes on and off (there may, or may not, be an institutional element - I'm not telling - suffice it to say that it represents a significant departure from my previous output).  But imagine a misbehaving fluorescent tube.  This is something that is easy to replicate in ANY situation - it just requires a faulty starter to have been put aside at some previous date, shutters on the windows or thick heavy drapes or some other way to cut out extraneous light and some form of confinement (and straitjackets are easy enough to come by nowadays, even privately).   

People come, people go – the flickering goes on and on and on, or the tap drips and drips and drips maddeningly...  And no one seems to notice…

But another though has just struck (nothing at all to do with the new book):  What if she has been left totally at liberty to do something about it herself, to get up and turn off the dripping handbasin tap, flick off the light switch (though that would plummet her in to total darkness) - physically at liberty, but restrained from doing so by discipline?  She is not allowed to; and if she does, there will be consequences...  The cane or the torment...  Which will she choose?  

An Unexpected Change in Status

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I came across this pic on Tumblr.  I have no idea of its origin beyond that, but a title immediately sprung to mind - 'An unexpected change in status' - and from that point on, the annotation kind of took care of itself.

I have quite deliberately left the details to the imagination, but I have to say this is one of my favourite themes.  Yes, a theme I shall have to explore more fully at some date.  I have always been fascinated by the idea of the heiress put to work in what should have been her own home.  By the way, rather than 'maid' the term I'd prefer would be 'skivvy'.  I love that tittle, skivvy; it's so much more demeaning sounding than 'maid'.  The one exception I can think of to that latter statement is when or if the term 'maidservent' is applied.  "Pay no attention to the girl.  She's just a skivvy."

I like to think they would once have lived quite separate lives in two quite separate locales.  But with the death of a central family figure, both girls have been brought together under one roof for the sake of convenience, partly to make it easier to exert control over them, and partly because from time to time there will be certain documentation requiring both their signatures as gradually their inheritance is creamed off.

Oh My God! A Shock from YouTube

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I know I have already posted something today, but I just HAD to share these with you - I couldn't wait! These scenes are taken and adapted from the film, "Und alle haben geschwiegen"From the German this translates as 'All Were Silent'. It is about a home for maladjusted girls.  There is even a movie clip embedded down below (scroll down to the bottom of this post to view).

Actually, albeit indirectly, you have 'Wringer' to thank for the tasty morsel of a hair cutting scene.  He sent me a link to another forced haircut scene entirely and while searching around it I came across this.  I loved 'Wringers' suggested clip also, but this one really captured my imagination.

I mean: Oh my god!  These scenes could have come straight out of my well known (I'd like to think) 'INSTITUTIONALISED' series, from the medical world staff uniforms and inmates' uniform dresses to the use of numbering to address the inmates by rather than their given names.  Yes, I know the plot differs somewhat (I've looked up the film - which incidentally translates as 'All Were Silent').  This is supposed to be based on fact, whereas what I write is total fiction (although inspired by fact).  In addition, the events depicted within the story arc of my series come about as the result of an experimental psychology study gone awry and a hapless young thing in danger of being denied her inheritance after being tricked into volunteering to join by her manipulative legal guardian.  But the parallels, where they exist, are astounding. I couldn't resist adding the annotation, incidentally, although it pertains to the plot line of my book series rather than the film. Another case of truth stranger than fiction or 'you couldn’t make it up', as I'm rather too fond of saying?

..It's always worked in the past; one plants the seed, one invites distrust, nurtures its growth – it discourages the formation of alliances, keeps our inmates as isolated individuals within the group... Oh look! She's biting her lip...Yes my dear, you'll find any attempt to 'kick over the traces' will be quickly reported by one of your fellows; that's how we knew you'd make a break for it, why none followed your example; I had them all completely subjugated well before YOU were brought here. And there's no point you looking at me like that, dear. You only have yourself to blame! I didn't ask you to volunteer to come here, it's not my fault if you let yourself be talked into it – you should have been stronger willed... But as for when you leave, well that's not down to me either – you initially signed up for three months, so you DO have a choice not to keep extending your stay; just don't sign the renewal... Don't pout – I KNOW the director's cane can be persuasive...”

Above: The aforementioned haircut scene.  

I think they have got the inmate uniform styling about right, incidentally.  Not at all what a teenage girl would want to be seen dead in, and yet functional and practical while still incorporating certain features which although seeming to argue against practicality - namely the long sleeves and buttoned cuffs, which could become soiled while floor-scrubbing for example - are undoubtedly there so as to instil, impose and promote discipline and a feeling of being under control.  Ugly and depersonalising, the dress is totally unlike anything she'd be likely to wear in the outside world, differing greatly from everyday fashion and style and thus marking out the wearer as an inmate of some kind of institution, which is very much the point.  There is also very little she can do potentially to personalise it in any way, which is another important point.  

Removing her outdoor clothing and submitting to wearing the uniform dress represents an important psychological cut-off point - sharply delineating her life and personality outside from her new institutional existence - and in that way she should feel totally stifled by it and ashamed wearing it, which in turn is where the menial appearance of the dress is important, something the institution has clearly got very right.  Of course the institutional haircutting procedure then backs all this up, further impressing upon her that her old life is no more. 

The staff uniforms are important too in helping to present the wearer as a figure of authority, just as much as the inmate uniform encourages a feeling of submission to that authority and it is interesting how rapidly she becomes browbeaten into changing out of her street-clothes and into that uniform, which she does without any form of physical duress whatsoever. It is rather interesting, also, to note how easily she submits to having her hair cut - once again without any form of physical duress or restraint being required – her submission undoubtedly aided by having already tasted defeat, in the form of the institution uniform in which she is now dressed.  

And yet, saying all that; if you freeze frame this clip you will see the dress has got pockets, which is one of the two areas where it falls down from a disciplinary standpoint (the other being the lack of some sort of - preferably embroidered - badge with the institution's name and the girl's inmate number). 

One - she should not posses nor should own anything she need put in those pockets: 

Two - pockets make great hiding places for contraband, even if searched from time to time; though in a well-run institution no form of contraband would be available.  Nevertheless it encourages her to perhaps gather some kind of substitute for the personal belongings she no longer owns.   

Three; it is tempting for the girl to slip her hands her pockets and slouch - although observant staff and a good dose of the cane would soon discourage THAT habit!

Four: if pockets are required for stylistic purposes - for example a breast pocket whose function is merely to act as a platform for the institution badge and the girl's inmate number - then there is nothing wrong with that, so long as they are NOT functioning pockets but merely stylistic devices.

 If I were to make any criticisms as regards the haircutting itself it would that I would like to see the room looking plainer and more clinical, that it should be carried out with the girl being made to face a mirror to maximise the psychological impact and that she should not have to be pulled about so much but rather should be made to sit still, quiet and accepting with her hands resting in her lap and also that she should have been admonished severely when at one point she raises a hand to wipe her face. In fact this would be as good a point as any to introduce her to her first experience of corporal punishment. There would be nothing at all wrong, in my view, about interrupting the proceedings – no matter at what stage - getting her to her feet and making her touch her toes to receive the cane, perhaps, for example, simply wiping her face or, if facing a mirror, closing her eyes or looking away from her reflection; it would make for a salient early lesson in obedience.

Another slight criticism is that it would, again in my view, be totally wrong for her to go straight from her street-clothes into the institutional uniform dress without several intervening steps along the way, these steps – as with her final donning of the inmate uniform – preferably occurring remotely from the site of her initial disrobing and with her gradually moving deeper and deeper into the institution complex or building as she progresses. At the very least these steps should consist of a shower, internal examination and intimate shaving, if not a thorough purging with a strong enema

I'm still working on the new book, and still struggling with how to start it off and make it multi-part without it appearing at first glance as another example of my usual approach – which it very much isn't. Bloody hell! That part of it is turning out to be harder that actually writing the thing – and time is running out; I'm close to having to make greater efforts to seek employment. I know I'll have to eventually – there is not enough cash in writing (my last LULU royalty payment was a stunning £30 for a month, and for some reason I am getting nothing at all from the various affiliate banners I have scattered around) - but I'd like to finish the various projects I have running first... Oh well!

More Inspiration from tha Youtube Film - And a Scene I Ask our Imagination to Fill In

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Left:  My interpretation of what MIGHT be going on - or what WOULD be going on if it came from the plot of one of my earlier books, such as the INSTITUTIONALISED series.  Click to enlarge.



Incidently, the term ‘harassment therapy’ is NOT something made up by yours truly but does actually exist in reality, or has done in the recent past. Google it and see.

But now I'd like you to call on you to do a little work yourselves.  I want to call on you to imagine a change of scene. It is perhaps sometime later in the day. I'd like you to imagine a girl in her late teens who has done nothing wrong but has found herself incarcerated in an East European psychiatric institute (for now it is better you don't know how or why). She is in a straitjacket. She has just been frogmarched into the institution psychologist's 'consultation room' between two female orderlies, stout middle-aged women in white button-through dresses with leather-belted waists and hats that look like something a chef or cook might wear and more at home in a kitchen or butcher's shop.

The room is bare, stark, and decked out like a police interview room, right down to the two-way mirror lining the top half of one of the whitewashed walls and the the twin-deck cassette recorder arranged to one side of the grey-white Formica-topped table she has been seated in front of. Four large, old-fashioned CCTV cameras stare down accusingly from high up in the corners, each with a red light blinking on and off, presumably recording her every move.

Before retreating outside, one of the women unbuckles her belt and slips it out from around her waist, doubling in it over and leaving the supple, broad, brown leather belt folded on the tabletop alongside the thin rattan cane which was already there. The girl is left alone to stew in her own juices seated on a high-backed hard wooden chair whose seat is somewhat too short, from front to back, to fully accommodate her full bottom. The girl's back is to the door and she faces the deep, comfortable, black leather chair on the other side of the desk on which eventually the 'therapist' will sit once she arrives, sinking back and kicking of her heels, as is her habit. Beyond that is the high-mounted rectangle of thick glass blocks which constitutes the window, deeply inset behind a barrier of thick wire mesh and with the shadowy outline of the bars on its exterior showing through as the only reminder of the outside world.

The silence is near-complete, to the point of feeling almost like pressure on the ears, liking wadding pressing against her eardrums. It is broken only by a slow metronome-like tick, like an old wall clock or a grandfather clock some way off in the distance. It is the only thing that provides any notion of the passage of time – that, and the growing saddle-sore numbness in her behind on account of the hard chair and its seat which is slightly domed towards its centre, increasing the discomfort. But she knows from experience not to fidget, not to look around herself, at her surroundings, but to face forward sitting ramrod straight – there is no way of knowing who is watching through that two-way mirror or is seated before what she imagines to be a bank of television security monitors some place...  It eats away at her nerves, eats away at her from inside.


(Right - I couldn't find a picture of a girl in a starightjacket receiving a thrashing with a belt)

She knows when the woman finally comes in she will do so quietly. She may not even hear the door open and close, might only become aware of her presence through the rustle of her clothing, the whisper of her stockings or tights and the soft click of her heels on the lino. But she resists the temptation to peer back over her shoulder, fights back the growing tension in her stomach, tries not to look at the implements of chastisement sitting on the table top in front of her... and slowly but surely, as the worry lines etched across her young brow deepen and the tension mounts, she begins to break herself down, psychologically eating away at herself from the inside. Only when the tears have begun to flow in earnest does she become aware of movement behind her back, then of the woman bustling past, taking her seat, arranging the clipboard she carries and slapping the heavy file down on the table with a heart-stopping dull thud, kicking off her heels under the table.

The therapist wears a white coat and is the only one in the institution who can speak or understand English. She is also the only one who knows the girl's true identity, how she came to be there and – importantly – the reason she is being held; and even the girl herself doesn't fully understand that!

The therapist is combative from the start. Among other things the girl is being accused of promiscuity or promiscuous behaviour and of compulsive masturbation and is being interrogated as much as interviewed. She is being aggressively questioned on all manner of embarrassingly personal things. Sexual history, sex acts with boy friends, masturbatory habits, her most secret fantasies – and her every response is it greeted with the same cynical and derogatory attitude. She has been interviewed in this way many, many times before. Each time copious notes have been taken, her replies recorded and a bulging fat file is continuously refereed to, cross-checked to validate her candidness and truthfulness. Of course the poor harassed thing is as reluctant to take part as she is resentful of her continued incarceration. And so she quickly finds herself being made to lie across the therapist's desk.

The crotch strap of her straitjacket is tugged up out the way - yanked tight between her fulsome bottom cheeks - and like that she is thrashed with the folded leather belt the orderly has so thoughtfully provided, long and hard. She has been positioned facing a mirror propped up against the wall and has to keep her eyes open, watching herself in reflection being strapped. After each strike and before the next the therapist holds out the belt in front of her for her to kiss – she must bring her lips softly to the leather, smile, glance up at the reflection of the therapist in the mirror, make full eye contact and thank her nicely. She is not restrained but rather is obliged to keep in position of her own volition - to do otherwise, to shift position or jump to her feet, is to invite a repeat of the entire punishment from the start...  And an additional going-over with the cane as well!

Corporal Punishment and Experimental Psychology – A Fascinating Mix

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I always think corporal punishment and experimental psychology make for such fascinating bedfellows.  Don't you?
Very few words of explanation required for this one, I would have thought. Yet again, like so many other things I have posted in recent times it has absolutely nothing to do with the thing I'm currently writing. 

The new book centres around kidnap, amongst other themes, and is VERY non-consensual - without of course being 'hard core', at least in any physical way - whereas one might just detect the tiniest hint of the possibility of being able to write in some sort of voluntary aspect into the above image given a little imagination, something more akin to the subject matter explored within the pages of the Institutionalised series.  But there is just something about a post-adolescent girl in a sailor suit that gets the inspirational juices flowing. Don't ya think? 

Incidentally, I spent a quite bit of time trying to persuade the knickers to take on that translucent quality which polythene has – and simply making the image semi-transparent didn't quite make the grade.   The original image was of a pair of rubber medical bloomers which were opaque white...  I'd love to hear your comments. 

I know! I really should have been spending the time writing. But I had to boot up the photo-manip software to deal with some work I'd received from Roger Benson during the night (the well known 1950s-orintated spanking artist), and the rest is history as they say. Truth is, as I've said before; I just don't have enough self discipline sometimes!

The New Serving Class and a Request for Advice: Direct Marketing of the Written Word - Anyone know How To?

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I just found this on Tumblr!  I SO love Tumblr these days!

"Don’t resist, don’t make a fuss.  You’ll be fired, and there are no longer any laws to protect you."

It’s about time SOME advantage was derived from the poor economic climate!  I've said for a long time that the time is ripe for the development of a new serving class, the re-emergence of an exploitative culture based on the employment of maids, skivvies and what have you!  Forget 'minimum wage' considerations, in today's climate they should be grateful for what they get, even if it IS on the basis of  'room and board only'.  Yes, I'd agree there is nothing wrong with a little 'pocket money' - if that is found to aid motivation - but she has to be made to understand such costs as her uniform have to come out of that, there'll be deductions for poor behavior / service and so on, and any shopping trips will be made under strict supervision.

Now the REAL reason for today's post:  

An Anonymous reader / contributor recently (Nov 17th) said (as a comment appended to my post of 6thSeptember)...

"What about publishing your own books, and selling them from the blog?  I would gamble that you could reduce the cover price that lulu charges and still make more money.

I have bought a couple of your titles from lulu, and both are an excellent read, however I much prefer to buy direct from niche market authors because then I am actually supporting the author directly, and not paying out for corporate taxation, and contributing to the wealth of those that feed on others creative works."

A couple of other people have suggested I do that.  The thing is: I don’t know how to go about it, not automatically at least.  True, I could place a ‘Buy it Now’ button leading straight to PayPal - just as I have installed a ‘donate’ button, installed within the side bar – and then post a PDF version via email to the purchaser, but this would involve my direct participation in the process and also introduce a delay between the point of purchase and the purchaser receiving his or her copy.  I rather suspect many purchases to be so-called impulse buys (I know that to have been true of myself, back in the day when such material came off the top shelf of the local newsagent / tobacconist shop). 

My anonymous friend is right, though, about my being able to reduce the cover price and what he says about the slice taken by the middle men.  When I first started to use LULU they charged very little for electronic downloads and what they DID charge was a flat fee.  But LULU got greedy and the fee went up and up and now is no longer a flat fee but rather is a percentage of the cover price and attracts a rather high (in relative terms) minimum charge.  A while back (for a limited period over last Christmas and New Year) I wanted to give away one of my titles free, gratis and for nothing, but to have done so through LULU would have cost ME money!!!  In the case of the first six of my books distributed via a publisher, the publisher himself takes 50% - and that’s 50% of the proceeds AFTER the transaction site (whether Amazon or what have you) takes their cut!  Of the proceeds coming from the last book I put out - which I self-published on Amazon – Amazon takes 30% and where a copy is downloaded from Amazon’s USA, the American Inland Revenue Service (IRS) takes 30%, even though I don’t earn enough overall to have to pay income tax in the UK. 

If I were to market direct from the blog or website I could afford to charge perhaps half the present cover price for any given title as charged on Amazon et al.  But does anyone out there know an easy way of doing this?  Or would those of you who would consider making a purchase in this way be content if there were, say a day or two's delay in receiving your downloaded PDF? (At the moment I can only foresee providing PDFs in this way - ebooks for Kindle etc would still be available elsewhere, as at present.).

Interpretation,Inference, Imagination and Inspiration

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This was something I knocked up for my Tumblr account recently, but I thought I'd share it here too, since I've no way of knowing the degree of overlap between my readership. It came about when I came across a series of pics based on the same dress but with different apron styles and one without entirely and was struck by the different interpretation one could place on the images. So I created and added in a brown leather riding crop for emphasis - and hey presto!

A blue dress. Just a blue dress. Looks kind of institutional perhaps? Some kind of uniform, then? But what does it say, what does it suggest to you? A different style of apron, and perhaps a hospital nurse. With the style of apron depicted... Well, what would you say? A waitress, a maid perhaps or other servant? Take away the apron altogether and it might even be a simple unsophisticated housewife pressing into service an old work dress or part of some sort of working uniform purchased in the local charity or thrift shop as an overall to do her housework in. Add in the riding crop though and all manner of scenarios spring to mind... Don't ya think?

It is such alternative interpretations as these, often carried out in the mind's eye, which have allowed so many of the ideas which crop (pardon the pun!) up in the novels I write to have often sprung from perfectly innocent images in newspapers, magazines or even women's workwear catalogues (an ex was once involved in the fashion industry and was working on a history of fashion in the workplace or some such thing).

I'd love to know what YOU think? Any examples of this sort of ambiguity of roles based on dress you can think of?

A Reconsideration of Values - Or: Putting Words in their Mouths, Thoughts in their Heads

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Sometimes you stumble across a perfectly innocent scenario. Then the little demons that live in the imaginative subconscious kick in. An old background created for by the stalwart of 3D computer art, Angela Fox, (for the long-delayed, still to be completed, INSTITUTIONALISED comic-book project) happens to be at hand, and it just so happens that yours truly - while working on an image for and on behalf of Roger Benson yesterday and last night- had reason to assemble a new speech bubble... And it all just comes together.

I have to admit that like so much I have put out on my blogs of late, this has VERY little to do with the early sections of the - multi--part - book I am working on in its present incarnation, which does not, in its early stages at least, have much to do with any kind of institutional scenario. But it does make one think of what just might be plausible within the context - and under the auspices of - one of those early experimental psychology studies undertaken back in the days before ethics committees had much sway.  

The imagery that has imerged also explores an interest I have held for some time within the context of CP / discipline writing, that being the concept of having the subject submit to the strap or the cane in preference to something far worse and yet not necessarily involving PHYSICAL discomfort, and perhaps actually quite subtle, to the point of not even actually being perceived as punishment as such...  to begin with! In this case that less-preferable or less-tolerable option is also that self-same factor responsible for the subject buckling under the pressure to conform to the protocols or stipulations surrounding her residency. Here it is simply a well thought out régime of carefully planned boredom, petty rules and tedious rituals – all underlined by scrupulous isolation.

A Smoking Addiction – And Not Just her Bare Behind after a Scorching Dose of the Cane!

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Enforced or encourage addiction of any sort can be of interest for its potential to be put to use to further impose and enforce a régime of strict discipline and restriction.  

But I'm not too sure about this one , though! Other than the kidnapping theme, this has little to do with the new book I'm writing you may be relieved to know (or maybe not – let me know if it floats your boat; the sentiment behind it does it for me, if not the subject matter; I actually HATE smoking). 

I just happened upon the picture, and this is what popped into my addled little head. What more can I say?: 
.......................................................................
That's it! Keep watching the film – take a drag on the cigarette, take it deeep down, deeeeep, deeeep down, keep watching the film, listening to my voice... Yes, that's the way – good girl! The taste is so, so delicious, so very, VERY addictive. Tobacco! Hmmm! Yes! You want more and more and more – twenty a day, thirty a day, FORTY a day... Yes, why not FORTY a day? Imagine yourself lighting one after another after another, no guilt, sheer, SHEER pleasure, not able to stop, not WANTING to stop, lighting each from the previous before it goes out – no more worrying about your silly, silly athletics career, all that exhausting ruining and running and running... You're only going to be interested in where the next cigarette is coming from... That's it, finish it up – and then the nice kind nurse is going to put you back in your pyjamas and straitjacket and take you back to your room where you'll hear music playing over and over, the same music as in the film, that you're hearing now, and when you hear the music you'll remember the film, and needing a cigarette, being desperate, so desperate for a cigarette, craving just one more cigarette, craving, craving, craving...

OK – got that all down on tape?”

Yep!”

Good! AND the pictures, plenty of nice shots?”

Yep! Those too!”

Excellent! Perhaps now, when they see what we're doing to their little darling 'golden Girl', they're cave in to our demands a little more readily. OK, get her off to her room, safely under lock and key, and I'll have her back in here later this afternoon for another session... And make sure she stays awake! We'll keep it going as we have done these last few weeks - she can have two hours sleep after her session around mid-afternoon and two hours around midnight; and that's it! Any sign of dissent or disobedience or she tries to sleep, take a cane to her backside. I want her nice and sleepy – she's easier to handle that way.”

Admission Procedures - No Need for Words

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Those old admission procedures.  Who can forget those discussions and correspondences within Janus magazine's Reader's Letters pages back in the day?  But sometimes there is just no need for explanation!

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Happy New Year folks!

Sorry I wasn't around over Christmas but it is a bad time of the year for me, I was away from home for much of it, and I have been concentrating on trying to get the first part of the new book out.

On the few occasions I HAVE been at home I have been finishing off some artwork in collaboration with Roger Benson for his upcoming book (due out sometime in spring apparently).

Okay, lets move on to something else, to some pictures I stumbled across before Christmas – and the ideas that have been tumbling around in my brain ever since.

When I came across this little confection on Tumblr – home of so much great stuff these days - I just had to share it with you, not just the imagery but also the thoughts that pop up in my head every time I run my eyes over the collection (of which only two pics are presented here).

The website these pics originate from (see bottom of each photo) is actually a fem-dom site, and very good it is too if that's your 'bag' (it isn't mine particularly, but hey, that doesn't mean I don't get ANYTHING out of it!). But as you know MY thing tends to be F/f and F/fff - to use a bit of shorthand - and so in my eyes and my imagination the woman immediately becomes a governess placed in charge of one or more late-teen girls ('late-teens', 'of marriageable age'– I've been criticised for it before, and I hate using the terms. But what else can I do? Any ideas?).

She certainly ticks all the boxes as far as I'm concerned when it comes to how I'm imagine a governess, an image which has formed the basis of so many of the dominant characters in my books in the past, from the tight leather skirt to the fully-fitted stockings.

I'm guessing many, if not most, of you will be imaging this woman's charge as an intractable denim-wearing gum-chewing sort, too big for her boots and practically unmanageable by all but the most extreme means . For me though, on looking over our stern-looking governess, a prerequisite seems to be that the direct opposite should be true of her charge.

Imagine if you will a woman like this placed in charge, not of some boisterous tomboy or rebellious leather-jacketed boy-obsessed hell-raiser, but rather a modest shy bookish sort, the outcome of an over-protective sheltered upbringing and pampered privileged liberal private education. 

The only thing precocious about our precious young thing is her figure, which much to her embarrassment is burgeoning and overly mature for her age and which she attempts to play down with baggy loose pullovers and so on. 

Perhaps the girl is studious, perhaps she wears glasses, too, although still undeniably pretty, even IN spectacles.

I'd like to think she'd be generally well behaved, not at all like most teenagers (though she is just beginning to show signs of finding her feet – thus her guardian's new appointment) and has never given a day's trouble in her life, having mostly been away at boarding school in any case.

I know, I know! How inappropriate could you get?

Who on earth would employ this woman in such a role, a woman who looks more like a professional dominatrix than a governess, you're probably asking yourselves?

Who in their right mind would leave such a naïve quiet bookworm in the hands of such a woman, let alone give her cart blanch over the girl?

Well one of MY many and varied nefarious characters might!

But to me it is the wholly inappropriateness of the woman's appointment that is the root of the excitement. She really is the embodiment of the proverbial use of the iron bar to break the butterfly’s wings.

Think about the poor thing's reaction for a moment, consider how she might react to the news that she won't be returning to the overly relaxed atmosphere of her progressive boarding school for the final year, that now she is old enough to no longer be compelled by law to remain in full-time education her schooling will continue at home, behind closed doors, with this woman as her tutor and governess!  Just imagine her shock, too, on being informed her old nice cosy room with its posters of ponies and show jumpers, her gymkhana rosettes and row upon row of bookshelves and books is now off-limits and that a new room has been set aside for her, high up in the attic.

Looking at our governess, as I am now, I can well imagine that having be told that the girl's school has never required a uniform, nor has the girl ever worn a school uniform at any point in her life, outraged by that establishment's lackadaisical attitude and a sticker for formality herself , she will have been pawing over school wear catalogues. Indeed I can well imagine her, disenchanted by modern offerings, glorying in putting together a school uniform of her own devising, employing a talented seamstress of her acquaintance, taking her time, spending night after night, pen and sketchpad in hand, pawing over vintage catalogues, researching historic archives, picking and choosing what she sees as the best of each of several designs. A pleated skirt taken from one design, obviously, attached to a cross-over open-sided bodice taken from another, teamed with a puff-sleeved stripped blouse taken from yet another fitted with a high, stiff Eaton collar and tie. But no blazer, oh no, she will have decided against that. I think, having come across several pictures of Victorian schoolgirls wearing waist-length capes fastening at the neck, she'll be thinking of opting for a shorter version to top it all off, perhaps coming just a little below the girls buxom-looking bustline. Then fitted out in her new kit she'll have the girl upstairs to deal with her waist-length hair with the aid of a pudding basin and a pair of hairdresser's sheers – yes, she's THAT kind of woman!

So, the question is, am I the only one who'd prefer to such a woman placed in charge of a quiet well behaved bookworm? Or is the consensus in favour of the tomboy or preconscious brat that needs taming? And for either case, how would you imagine she would proceed to stamp her authority? Would there be any difference to her approach to each case, or would both be subject to the short sharp shock routine of a damn good hiding with the cane, strap or hairbrush?

Discuss!
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